


always & forever

by lusciousmouthboy



Series: Fanfic Free Fridge [6]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Abandoned Work - Unfinished and Discontinued, Gen, I really wish I'd finished this one ah!, M/M, Sirius is Dead, alas, oh well, poor Yorick
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-16
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-25 07:41:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30085740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lusciousmouthboy/pseuds/lusciousmouthboy
Summary: The Order cleans out Grimmauld Place. Remus finds something (or someone) in the attic. (What if the Blacks had had a portrait commissioned of Sirius when he was a teenager?):'(This is not a finished fic! This is ANOTHER beginning. I really wish I'd finished this baby but I just... don't have it in me. I love it so much, though. Someone else please complete it!
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Series: Fanfic Free Fridge [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2164563
Kudos: 3





	always & forever

**Author's Note:**

> Unfinished! Unedited!
> 
> :'(
> 
> Just like the imaginary portrait of teenage Sirius Black.
> 
> The idea for this fic came from a lot of listening to Grace Mitchell's EP "Design" on loop. I also imagined Sirius would have Bowie's Ziggy Stardust _somewhere_ in that old house.

🐺🌟

The attic was hot.

So hot and stuffed (with stuff), and moted in dust. But so, so hot. Remus removed his robes, his jumper, his socks, his shoes.

An hour in, he’d come out with a few Dark trinkets. He didn’t know what they were expecting him to find. What they were expecting to find at all. Dumbledore’d just asked, and so they’d just done. He rolled up the legs of his trousers and his shirt-sleeves further.

Two hours in and he was wrestling with a miniature Cleansweep that was slapping him across the cheek. Something - someone - chuckled behind him.

He whipped his head around, his neck sticking -

One single eye of mercurial mirth stared at him from behind a black velvet curtain.

"That you, Moony? Merlin, you’ve puckered!” Oil-painted, fourteen year old Sirius Orion Black mocked.

The Cleansweep exploded. Tiny splinters of wood floated down in a shaft of afternoon sun.

Remus' face flushed, so hot, and paled; a bloodflood.

“Sirius,” he breathed.

“Aye me, sad hours grow long, Moony. Or what sod that phrase is, you know it, I know you know it,” the painting - boy Sirius - said. His voice was so much higher than Remus remembered. And so much lighter; Sirius’ fourteen-year old voice burned like silver.

“What the ever- loving-hell are you doing here?” Sirius said.

Remus held the black velvet curtain.

Sirius had been painted seated, but he wasn’t, and the expensive French replica had been meant to be in a field, somewhere, some place in time. Remus couldn’t recall/

Remus couldn’t think.

“Cleaning your mess,” Remus said.

It was wrong.

Sirius barked.

It was right.

“You’re so old! Do I look so pruney?”

“No,” Remus whispered. He kneeled, and was stuck with splinters.

“Thank the Founders! Where’s James?”

“Busy,” Remus lied. It wasn't a good lie.

He crept closer. He couldn't breathe. The attic was so hot.

"James is, he's,"

He sat in front of the painting, crossed knees.

“He's where?" Sirius said. "What have I missed?! Go on, Loopy, what’s news?”

Remus laughed, or cried.

“Oh, Merlin, I’m not skullduggering around there, am I? What’s so funny?!”

The boy painting - Sirius - was hopping. He was so animated, even in bespelled oil.

“No, you’re not,” Remus assured, “You’re - you’re

you’re

 _elsewhere_.”

“Ah,” Sirius smirked, “The Caribbean, aren’t I, with a flock of tropical birds, eh?”

“Probably,” Remus said.

He could drink the Channel and it wouldn't be enough.

🐺🌟

_A few days later_ :

“My bird. Sirius. It’s, well, serious,” they exchanged (strange) (strangled) smirks, “She’s asked me to marry her.”

“Suey! You would, Moony!” Sirius barks, shaking his ear-length shag.

Remus’d forgotten Sirius’ “Suey!” phase.

He’d let himself -

how could -

memories like hummingbirds -

He lets himself.

finally, he closes his eyes.

_Once, there was someone Remus had asked - no, demanded._

_He’d slammed him into a buttress on the Astronomy Tower and growled, “Tell me. Be honest, for once in your goddamn life, Sirius Black.”_

_“Always honest, Moony. An Unbreakable Vow, I am.”_

_“Stop” slam “evading” slam “my” slam “question.”_

_“Tell me isn’t exactly a question, pineapple. My arm does hurt.”_

_“Let it hurt.”_

Remus is in the attic again.

The globs of paint of Sirius’ grey eyes watch him.

“Moons, what’s the trouble?”

Remus doesn’t let himself think, the same way he didn’t when -

“She wants me to waltz at the wedding.” He says.

“Oh! My bashful, my furry trollop, let me!” Portrait Sirius spun, effortlessly and the colours swirled and swirled and blurred in Remus’ eyes as he did so.

“You’d have me learn from your portrait, would you?” His eyes crinkled.

“Well, if Prongsykins isn’t up to the task?” Sirius said hopefully.

Remus shook his head, slight, and Sirius nodded knowingly.

“Well, and, as I’m gallivanting ‘round the Tropics?”

Remus nodded, and Sirius nodded, gravely, “and so quite unavailable - who else will educate you, poor peas?”

Sirius tried not to look disappointed. He clapped his hands together magisterially and jumped up. The chair spilled.

"Oh no! Oh, no, no no no Moony! Oh no!"

"Why?" Remus leaned back. He looked over his shoulder.

“Don’t tell me you’ve consulted Peter. You’ll end up doing something horrific like the twist!”

Remus laughed, and he laughed.

“No. I haven’t gotten ‘round to asking any of you.”

“Embarrassed?”

_“You afraid of me, Black?” Remus bites._

_“Nope, just ticked off of you, Lupin,” Sirius shoves._

_“Why?”_

_“Why?!” Sirius echoes._

“Something like, more or less.”

“Dear me, Moony. Prop me up properly, yes, that’s the ticket, and now let the Lord of Misrule show you how it is done around these here parts.” Sirius says. He winks.

🐺🌟

Sirius tries to explain some steps, a fancy wizarding waltz, to be had between the bride and the groom after the ceremony had finished, but Remus only half-heartedly attempts them. He knows full-well he and Tonks won’t be having any sort of big affair.

“Merlin. I really ought to return from my adventures if this is the state I’ve left you in.”

“Yes, I’d like that.” Remus says. (He pleads, he begs, he prays.)

“Am I a bad mate in the future?” Sirius asks, puppy-eyed and earnest.

_“We’re mates, Moony, mates don’t, they don’t, erm, unless -- are we rowing?”_

_Taken aback for a moment, a millimeter of second, Remus loosens his grip._

_“We’re not rowing. We’re, I -- YOU’RE confessing!”_

_Remus shouts, and slams against the body trapped between him and the stones again._

_“Erm, confessing, am I? Right, you’ve got me in one." Sirius presses Remus' chest away and turns his head, creating space. "‘Twas I, yes dear Moons, who did, erm, charm all your skivvies pink and operatic," he looks back at Remus at this, "-- but Prongs was in on it!”_

_Remus growls._

_Sirius wriggles back further. “Even Evans thought’d it’d be a gas! Pressure from the prefects, Moons, you understand.”_

"Tosh, that's impossible. I'm not a bad mate.” Sirius in the attic asks without asking.

“You’re right," Remus meets his painted eyes. "You’re not, ever, and you won’t be."

🐺🌟

🐺🌟

🐺🌟

**AUTHOR'S NOTES TO SELF (THE OUTLINE) (so sry to interrupt!)**

When Sirius was 14, when this portrait was done (pre-emo times)

when Sirius was 14 he was really into dancing. For a reason! unclear what reason right now (was he taking dance classes pureblood style? what music was out then? Sirius was super into music we all know it -- was he just into music? was it for a girl? was it for Remus? Was it for a ball for Remus? I mean... yes. Definitely. yes. all of the above if I can finagle it.)

the marauders never knew he had the portrait done and didn't know all about the home pureblood dancing lessons (james knew) (come on) (james fuckin KNEW)

but lupin didn't know. and none of them knew about the portrait and Sirius forgot about it and then he died many years later with way more important things on his mind (OMG WAIT THO

maybe he found it again before he died? that year he spent up in the attic?!!! fucking christ BREAK MY GOD DAMN BODY) no I don't think he did let's keep the threads closed. He had one done every year until he absconded and thought his family had disposed of them all. Regulus saved this one.

SO

Lupin wanted to learn how to dance or sth for the Ball and Sirius and James taught him, and this was all just before the portait was painted. Lupin gives Sirius something, and Sirius is wearing it in the portrait. It all comes back around. It's a neat ending.

By reliving this experience in the present (with the portrait) and in the past (flashbacks/dreams) via Sirius and wedding with Tonks and pureblood wizard waltzing shit (((((sirius has been teaching him to waltz “lady stardust” by david bowie bc it’s the only slowish 4/4 song on any of sirius’ old records left (not many, like 4))))

Remus is able to heal a bit from the grief of losing Sirius. not fully of course not. But enough to move on and marry Tonks.

🐺🌟

CRITIQUE FROM FUTURE SELF: ur Lupin is too loud, too brash in this. He isn't that way -- not yet. Less with the birds bullshit. it may be IC KINDA but also like why it's not necessary??!!


End file.
